I don't know why I find it so hard to put all of faith and trust into the Lord. I know the wonderful things he is capable of. I am trying so hard to work on this. God only knows how hard I am trying.
So many things I am dealing with daily I need to let go of and let God take control.
Last night on my run I had to stop at mile 2 and shed a few tears and acknowledging to the Lord I cannot go on like this anymore. I can't take these hard times I am going through. I do the best I can at being a good wife, a good mother, step-mother, a role model to my one and only son, a good daughter, sister and granddaughter. I try to be a good worker. I put everyone's needs before my own. I sacrifice so much for my family and all I get is left behind. Left wondering why I don't get the same in return from anyone. What am I doing wrong? Am I not worthy? When my husband and I first met he wanted a wife who could fit the description of Proverbs 31. I've done my best to fit that description and can honestly say that I feel like I fit. I am starting to feel defeated and sad. Sometimes I feel angry. Why do I have a husband who never listens to what I want and need from him. Why am I the only one who goes without? Everything rests on my shoulders.
Lord I can't carry these burdens anymore. Lord you know what I need from my husband. He's only becoming more and more selfish as the years go on. How am I supposed to live like this? What am I doing wrong? What do I need to do?
I need to give these burdens to you and let you take care of them, but why am I having a hard time doing so?
1 Peter 5:6 NIV
Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may life you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you
Why do I feel like you doesn't have a hold of me? Nothing ever seems to go right. I'm constantly struggling to keep things in order.
I know its all in God's plan on HIS time. But enough is enough already. Help me let go.
Lord HELP ME!
In Jesus' Mighty Name
Amen
